


In Silence

by YenGirl



Category: Vampire Knight (Anime & Manga)
Genre: F/M, Pining, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-28
Updated: 2018-02-27
Packaged: 2019-03-25 00:10:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 18,552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13822368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YenGirl/pseuds/YenGirl
Summary: IN SILENCE I realised my heart's yearning and in silence I recognised its hopeless longing. Major pairing: KainxRuka, minor pairings: AidoxYori, ZeroxYuuki. COMPLETE.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author Notes:**  Hello everyone! This is a sister story to my AidoxYori fanfic  **No Matter What** , which is itself a sister story to my ZeroxYuuki fanfic  **Hold Me**. 

**Pre-requisite:**  The timeline of this story is the same as  **No Matter What**  so it would be good if you're at least familiar with it, if not with  **Hold Me**.

**Rating:**  'M'

**Disclaimer:**  Vampire Knight could only and does belong to the great Matsuri Hino.

\- Chapter Start -

It was going to be dawn soon. Lessons had ended a few hours ago and having taken their dinner, Kain, Aido, Takuma and Shiki were gathered around the sofa set placed just next to the grand staircase of the Moon Dorms spacious hall, chatting casually to one another. Kain was sitting on the left side of the sofa that faced the staircase, Aido taking up the other end. The tall, copper haired noble leafed idly through one of his books, dimly aware of but not really listening to the endless chatter of his younger cousin as he complained about this and that. Kain was so used to Aido's voice by now that it didn't really register with him anymore. That is, unless the young blond actually had something  _useful_  to say...

After a couple of minutes, something caught Kain's attention with hardly any effort at all and he stiffened imperceptibly. Ruka had walked out of the living room behind him and in an instant, he knew it was her. There was her familiar scent - cool and flowery - that was always so pure and perfect but as beguiling as that was, it was  _Ruka_  that Kain sensed first. He always knew when she came within twelve feet of him. He didn't know how, he just  _knew_. Perhaps it was because he had known her since he was six... but he knew. His body, his heart, his mind and his senses would all tingle with the most agonising sweetness whenever she was around.

Kain straightened up a little. He didn't move his head but his eyes had already slid to his left side in anticipation of the very instant that Ruka's tall and graceful figure would enter his line of vision. And with a suddenness that never failed to startle him - there she was, walking gracefully past the soft set with Rima Tooya on her other side. Both girls nodded and smiled to the four noble males occupying the sofa and chairs before starting to ascend the staircase.

All four males gave the two girls befitting nods and greetings but only Kain's heart gave a sudden lurch at Ruka's smile and his stoic countenance almost changed. Almost. He tilted his face up just a little... just enough to continue keeping Ruka in his vision without dislocating his eyeballs as she and Rima continued on upstairs.

Ruka Souen.

_Little Ruka..._

For that was always what she would be to him even though she was now tall, lithe and gorgeous. After all, she would never be taller than him and 'Little Ruka' was Kain's very own and unique pet name for her, formed just a couple of months after they had gotten to know one another. (He had also tried calling his cousin 'Little Hanabusa' but Aido thought it a grave insult and Kain didn't relish the constant icy glares, foot stamping and gusts of cold frost aimed his way).

Once the girls disappeared inside their room, Kain allowed himself a silent sigh. It was so unfair, he found himself thinking almost resentfully even though his expression didn't change. Since when had he started to think of Ruka in ways he never before had? She was his childhood friend, together with Aido. The three of them were inseparable whenever they were together even when they bickered constantly. Well, it was almost always Aido who squabbled with Ruka and Kain was just as often the peacemaker between them. He was the older, taller and more matured one so he soon found himself taking care of his younger two 'charges'. Kain was more like a big brother than a cousin and a friend when it came to impulsive, hotheaded Aido and cool, standoffish Ruka. He found he liked looking after them and watching out for them. He was the one who kept them out of trouble (as much as he could), the one they came to when they couldn't settle any disagreement and needed his help, support and occasionally, even his alibi. He was like their 'protector'.

Kain was proud of the fact that his brotherly and protective feelings had survived all those years of having to look out for Aido but  _damnit_ , why had they changed for Ruka? And when?

He wanted to give a bitter laugh right there and then. He knew when they changed. It was after they had enrolled in Cross Academy, to give their support and loyalty to Kaname Kuran. It had to be because up until then...

Kain had never before felt such  _rage_.

It was the night he saw Ruka in Kaname's arms in the old Moon Dorms. She was unconscious after requesting the pureblood to drink her blood instead of Yuuki's. Kain was enraged that someone had dared to take so much from Ruka and that he could do nothing other than voicing a verbal threat in a pathetic attempt to assuage his own anger, even as his arms took the weight of Ruka's slight form and cradled her protectively against his chest.

Kain had never before felt such  _pain_.

It was the night of Ichijo Asato's visit to Cross Academy, when Ruka had come out of Kaname's room in tears because he refused to drink her blood again. Kain had waited patiently for her, already knowing what the outcome would be. He was in pain that she was knowingly suffering from a one sided blood bond and a broken heart and that he could do nothing in return but offer a brotherly hug and a broad chest even as his arms shook with the effort not to crush her against him.

Kain had never before felt such  _desire_.

He was as familiar with Ruka's blood as he was of his own and of Aido's. The three of them had grown up together after all, and cuts and scrapes were the norm. But never before had he smelled the alluring scent of her blood and suffered deliciously erotic, darkly forbidden thoughts about it on both occasions, keeping him wide awake with embarrassed longing until the sun rose again.

Kain had never before felt such  _admiration_.

He had touched Ruka's hair before, of course - untangling long strands of it from tree branches, rescuing fistfuls of it from Aido's petulant clutches. But never before had Kain felt it on his skin and thought of a whole new world of adjectives for what had merely been just long blond hair to him.

Kain had never before felt such...  _love_.

He was aware of Ruka now as never before, not as a childhood friend but as a beautiful and desirable young woman who filled his dreams during the day and occupied his waking hours at night. She was now the sole reason why he attended Cross Academy and she mattered more to him than any other girl he had ever known. But none of that mattered because of Kaname Kuran. Kain wasn't a dreamer. Daring to love Ruka was a lost cause and he knew it better than anyone else. No one could measure up to a pureblood vampire prince. Kaname Kuran was a God in Ruka's eyes and that meant no one else would ever come close. No one would even dare.

Kain blinked, coming back to the present as Aido had resumed his endless chatter. The grand staircase was now empty but Ruka's faint, flowery scent lingered in the air, teasing Kain's senses and softly striking an echo in his heart. He looked down at his book without seeing it as lilting music from a past memory flitted through his mind. It was the night of the school dance and Ruka had looked radiant. Kain was all too aware that it was all for Kaname. The tall beauty had her hair caught up in a knot behind her head, tendrils of honey blond silk curling about her face. She was bewitching in a dress that encased her slim figure to perfection. She was alluring with her pale neck bare and her slender shoulders barely hidden by that gossamer shawl.

And she was Ruka Souen without fault - she had turned down all the hapless Day Class boys who dared to approach her, and Kain could only feel pity for the blushing and stammering Day Class President who beseeched her for a dance. Kain knew he had fanned the fire that time but he couldn't help it – the sly demon in him wanted to shoot down whichever peasant who dared to ask her for a dance and really, who better to do the shooting than Ruka herself?

Kain shifted a little in his seat as the memory of a more recent dance intruded. Kain, Takuma and some of the other Night Class boys had danced with Ruka too but Kain was sure he was the only one of her partners who had felt something more than just friendship or admiration. He was powerless to stop staring at her and was uncomfortably aware that even one of his Day Class dance partners had noticed – Sayori Wakaba whose green eyes were as observant and quick as their owner, even if she chose not to comment on the inattentiveness of her dance partner. Still, Ruka remained oblivious to Kain's aching heart and his eyes closed in a rare instant of despair.

She had never seen him as anything other than a good friend and he knew she never would. As the nights, weeks and months passed with steady and monotonous persistence, Kain found that he no longer dared to reveal his feelings to her. Not when friendship was all that tied them together.

_Little Ruka... how can you still long for the one you could never have when the one who would die for you is already by your side?_

_But how can I think of competing against Kaname Kuran, my own leader and a pureblood prince at that?_

No... it was hopeless.

\- Chapter End -


	2. Hopelessness

\- Chapter Start -

Lessons for the Night Class were over. Together with the other nobles, Ruka stood up and placed her right hand over her heart, bowing her head as Kaname walked out of the classroom. He was followed by the others who had already gathered their books but Ruka didn't move, her eyes hopelessly following the tall figure of her leader. Hopeless - the most perfect word to describe how she was feeling.

Kaname Kuran would never be hers. Ruka wasn't a fool; she  _knew_  that. She may hope for it as much as she could but she also knew it was unlikely to happen. He was a pureblood after all. But it was one thing for a logical organ such as her brain to accept that as a fact; it was another thing altogether for her willful heart to do the same. She had known what would happen when she offered her blood to the pureblood prince that night a year or so ago. She had known the risks of such a foolhardy decision and how it would affect someone like her, someone who already had a crush on him for years.

But honestly, what else  _could_ Ruka have done? She had seen the desperate hunger in Kaname's eyes, how he was so very, very close to biting Yuuki Cross that night. No, Ruka could not allow it to happen. They may be at Cross Academy, a relatively safe place where no one in the Night Class would dare question Kaname's actions... but she feared that they might not respect their leader anymore if they knew that he had broken the strongest rule he and the Chairman had put into place themselves – drinking blood on campus was strictly forbidden, particularly if any of the Day Class students were involved. It was a rule that Aido always had a bit of trouble adhering to but Ruka was determined not to let the slightest hint of disgrace touch her beloved leader. She would not let anyone see him acting weak or possessing a control that was less than perfect. After all, she had chosen to come here, to Cross Academy, because of him. She, Akatsuki and Hanabusa were here because of Kaname Kuran and no one else. They would do anything for him but the two males were not there at that moment, only she... Kaname... and an innocently sleeping Yuuki.

Despite knowing what her words would cost her, Ruka hadn't hesitated to step forward and pull Kaname away from Yuuki and to offer her own blood to assuage his hunger. There was no fear in her as she gazed up at the crimson eyes and sharp fangs of her leader, only a fierce desire to help and protect him... and protect Yuuki. Ruka's heart leapt as Kaname reached for her. Her eyes closed as he placed his lips at her neck. And she pulled in a long, trembling breath as long, sharp fangs pierced her flesh at last, bringing a wistful wish to reality. It was unbelievably beautiful while it lasted. Ruka gave herself up to the rush of wild, warm pleasure that swept through her body knowing that in a way, she should feel ashamed. She was noble born and bred, she shouldn't be offering her blood to anyone but her chosen mate... but this was Kaname-sama, her leader and a pureblood. Her parents would be taken aback if they ever found out but they would not disapprove and the vampire world at large would regard it as an honour, even look upon her with envy and approval.

Kaname was drawing her blood with expected skill, his lips and tongue imparting pleasure at the same time... but he did not stop and Ruka soon found her heart beating with a mix of fear as well as pleasure. She was steadily growing weaker and the swift way he was draining her blood was making her feel lightheaded and dizzy. Ruka clutched at Kaname's shirt and softly, reluctantly implored him to stop. But he didn't... perhaps he couldn't... and the last thing that went through her mind before she fell into darkness was that Kaname-sama would be wracked with guilt once he realised he had taken too much from her.

When Ruka next awoke, she realised she was being carried in someone's arms with the utmost care. The strength of those arms and the familiar warm scent told her who it was immediately.

_Akatsuki..._

Peeping through the thick curtain of her lashes, she made out a strong jaw and a pair of firm lips above it. Right now, the jaw was tightly clenched and the lips pressed into a thin line as if in silent disapproval. Ruka kept silent, not wanting to listen to any recriminations right now.

_You alone knew where I was..._

She was too comfortable where she was, too weak to walk on her own and far too used to Kain's brotherly concern to think anything of it. He didn't seem to sense she was awake as he carried her to her room and Ruka found herself hazily wondering how he always happened to be there. For her. He always seemed to be around when she needed him in one way or another. Right from the time she first met him and Hanabusa, Akatsuki had always been there for her. For Hanabusa. For both of them.

_But how did you know?_

All too soon, they reached the door of the room she and Rima shared. Kain knew that the petite, pig tailed model was away on a photo shoot and he merely shifted Ruka in his arms so that he could open the door. Quietly, he walked into the darkened room and laid her gently onto the nearest bed. Ruka could sense him looking down at her so she kept her eyes closed even when she felt a lock of her hair being curled around his finger and after that, a soft kiss pressed onto her forehead.

As she had expected, Kain never mentioned that kiss nor that night and for that, Ruka was grateful. He truly was a blessing of a friend to have - someone who always took her side over Aido's - well, almost always - he fell in with most of her suggestions and never once even hinted that she was a fool to initiate a one sided bond with someone who was above her and loved another girl instead.

_I'm so grateful that you're always there for me._

Kain was there the second time too, on the night of Asato Ichijo's visit. Ruka had stood outside Kaname's room for more than an hour, hating her weakness and the punishment she had inflicted on herself but unable to go away until Kaname had finally taken pity on her and spoke to her. But even drawing her blood with her own nails failed to tempt him and she had rushed away from his room in tears, only to sob in Kain's ready arms as he offered her comfort and warmth.

_Even if I don't know why you care so much..._

Rousing herself at last, Ruka gave a small, bitter sigh. She picked up her books and hugged them to her chest as she walked out of the classroom with her head slightly bowed. Aido was still sitting in the classroom, staring off into the distance as if daydreaming but she ignored him and nodded to Kain who was leaning one shoulder on the doorway, patiently waiting for both of them. He nodded at her in return but didn't say anything, his eyes going past her to Aido. Perhaps he wanted to wait for his cousin too but Ruka had already started walking so the tall noble turned around and followed her instead, his long stride easily enabling him to reach her side without even hurrying.

For a moment, Ruka's thoughtful brown eyes slid sideways to her tall, silent companion. He was an enigma... a perfect gentleman, a strong but reserved noble but perhaps a secretly rebellious one too... for who else would dress the way he did?

\- o -

A mere heartbeat after Ruka glanced at Kain, his own eyes slid to her then back again. He knew that her large eyes would be trained on the back of the tall, regal pureblood walking along the path in front of them. It was something Kain and everyone else was used to by now but he wondered if he would ever get used to that sharp, nagging ache inside his heart.

Still, it meant that he was free to focus his attention on her without being noticed even though his expression didn't change one bit. Kain had always prided himself on his reserve, his solid stoicism and his detachment from all that went on around him. None of Takuma's over the top cheerfulness nor Aido's impulsive rashness for him, thank you very much. Kain preferred not to call attention to himself. Perhaps he never realised how he still did, courtesy of his imposing height and the way he dressed - unbuttoned jacket, missing tie and untucked shirt... and the way the Day Class girls named him 'Wild'.

Other than that though, Kain made sure he melted into the background as he so often did, content to bask in Ruka's beauty now that she was distracted enough that she wouldn't notice her silent admirer. With all his senses focused on her, Kain turned his head just a little so that he could feast his eyes on how the pale moonlight turned her wavy, honey coloured tresses several shades lighter and bathed her beautiful face in its glow. Ruka was dressed in her Night Class uniform as usual but Kain's imagination took a rare flight of fancy and that proper uniform with its clean, crisp lines morphed into a flowing, white linen shift in his mind's eye. Ruka would be a true Goddess come to life then, with that gorgeous hair, lithe form and tempting smile... all ready to –

"Akatsuki! Hey, 'katsuki, wait up...!"

Kain blinked as he was pulled into the present, courtesy of his cousin. He took a moment to detachedly decide if he was truly annoyed at Aido's interruption or relieved that the increasingly maudlin attempts his mind was making with prose had come to an abrupt halt. With that familiar, patient expression on his face, Kain halted and turned around. He noted that Ruka had done the same but it was more likely out of curiosity than anything else.

"What is it?"

Aido ignored his cousin's less than enthusiastic response that suggested the taller noble already knew he was about to asked a favour and offered a charming smile instead.

"I need to go to town Saturday evening.  _This_  Saturday," Aido began with that winning smile pinned firmly onto his lips but Kain merely raised an eyebrow and didn't say anything.

"Why?" Ruka couldn't help asking and Aido's smile slipped a little. He gave her an annoyed look which she blithely ignored.

"Why, Hanabusa?" Kain repeated and Aido's eyes snapped back to his cousin. He resisted the urge to shift on his feet as he saw Kaname, Takuma and the others walk on ahead.

"Uhm, well, I need to, uh..." Aido's less than articulate response was something new and to his mortification, unwanted colour rose in his pale cheeks when he saw Kain and Ruka's curiosity increase.

"Meet a girl, perhaps?" Ruka drawled. Kain remained silent and watchful. Aido opened his mouth to voice a denial but for some reason, he closed it again without saying anything. After a moment, his shoulders slumped, the smile disappeared and those blue eyes held a quietly desperate look.

"I... yes," he finally admitted and mentally shook his head at himself. If Sayori Wakaba could influence his glib lying ability without even being around him, then he was a goner and he knew it.

"Who is it?" Ruka asked curiously and Aido scowled. Damnit, why did she want to know? It was none of her business who he wanted to see!

"Hanabusa?" Kain's voice deepened a notch and Aido's expression turned mulish. He was just about to tell them to forget it when his cousin spoke again.

"Why are you telling us this?" Kain asked and Aido's expression changed again as if by magic. He  _needed_ them on his side otherwise he would never be able to go to town...

"I need you to come with me," he murmured, looking uncharacteristically earnest. "You know that no Night Class student is allowed to go town by themselves."

It was one of the rules for the Night Class, imposed by Kaname himself. Ruka's eyebrow went up and she looked disapproving. "Hanabusa, you're not asking Akatsuki to chaperone you, I hope?" she asked. Immediately, both boys' expressions turned mildly horrified.

"No!" Aido's eyes widened. "Not at all! But Kaname-sama would only give permission if we go in groups..."

Kain shoved his hands in his pockets, a frown settling onto his brow. "Are you sure about this, Hanabusa?" he asked and Aido nodded wordlessly, hope leaping in his heart as Kain appeared to give his request due thought.

"Well, who is she?" Ruka asked sound more impatient than curious. Right on cue, Aido scowled at her and she smiled at him, deliberately showing her lengthened canines. Aido's scowl deepened. Damn Ruka and her curiosity - this wasn't any of her business!

"Uh, someone..." he muttered stubbornly. To his everlasting relief, Kain rolled his eyes and sighed. "Whatever..." he said wearily. Ruka lifted her eyebrows at him instead.

"You're agreeing to this?" she asked, sounding sceptical as if already knowing it was going to end in disaster. Kain only shrugged, glancing back at the other nobles as if wanting to go join them.

"As long as Hanabusa gets Kaname-sama's permission, I don't see why not," he explained. He ignored the way Aido's face lit up and turned to look at Ruka instead.

"Would you like to come along?" he asked before he could stop himself. Ruka blinked. "Oh. Well... " her eyes fell on Aido's expectant face and she pretended to think it over like how Kain had, deliberately making the shorter noble wait and fume in silence.

"We could go somewhere or go eat something while Hanabusa enjoys himself..." Kain's words were studiedly casual but inside he was suddenly nervous. It was completely ridiculous of course since the three of them hung out together most of the time, had known each other since childhood and eaten literally thousands of meals together but strangely enough, Kain and Ruka had never really dined together in each other's presence alone. Meals were usually taken in Aido's company or with the other nobles while at school, or at one of their parents' houses and in the presence of family members and maids.

Ruka couldn't help grinning just a little maliciously as Aido scowled again at Kain's remark. It was obvious the tousle haired blond was holding back his usual retorts because he needed their help otherwise he would have stormed off in a huff by now.

"Oh well, why not?" she finally agreed to put Aido out of his misery, blissfully unaware that his heart wasn't only one anxiously awaiting her reply.

"Thank you!" Aido burst out in relief, much to his embarrassment and the other two's amusement. At that moment, Takuma called for them to hurry up and the trio started walking along the path again.

\- o -

Saturday evening came soon enough. Kain, Ruka and Aido were quiet as they walked to town, conscious of Zero, Yuuki and Yori a few paces behind them - all six of them apparently 'going to town' at the same time.

"Sayori Wakaba?" Kain murmured out of the corner of his mouth, not long after they had walked out of the main gates of Cross Academy. "She's the reason why you're going out?"

"You mean she's the reason why he's  _dragging_  us out," Ruka put in dryly. She was walking on the other side of Kain, who always found it best to stand between the two bickering nobles.

"Isn't it obvious, Akatsuki? He's used half a can of spray on his hair, he's dressed to the nines and he couldn't keep his eyes off-"

" _Yes_ , it's her," Aido said tersely, cutting her off as he marched along beside his cousin, his every sense tuned to one of the three people behind them since... well, since she was the girl he was interested in. Very much interested in.

As soon as they reached the town, Kain and Ruka noticed the surreptitious looks Aido kept sneaking at his wristwatch every now and then. Ruka caught Kain's eye and impishly winked at him before declaring that she was in the mood to look at clothes and would need both males to carry the spoils of her shopping. Kain agreed with his usual equanimity, hiding the sudden leap of his heart at the sparkle in Ruka's beautiful eyes, something he hadn't seen for quite a while now.

They both amused themselves at poor Aido's expense whose furtive glances at his watch grew increasingly frequent as the minutes flew by. Finally, the young noble couldn't stand it anymore. Muttering a random excuse, he handed over the bags he was carrying to Kain without ceremony and made himself scarce without even glancing in Ruka's direction. The two nobles found themselves alone. They walked onto the next shop but Ruka had unsurprisingly lost her urge for shopping.

"So... where would you like to go now?" Kain asked quietly after they walked past two more boutiques that Ruka only glanced at cursorily. Kain usually fell in with whatever she wanted to do, something he had done for so many years now that it was practically second nature to him for ask for her suggestion and for her to give it. The female noble glanced around and pursed her lips, unaware that a pair of admiring eyes were focused on them. Her face lit up as she spotted a familiar looking place.

"Oh, let's go for ice-cream!" Ruka pointed to Sweet Treats cafe with a smile on her face. She had forgotten how about that small café selling sundaes...

\- o -

They were one of the earliest customers at the cafe so they took the end booth that afforded more privacy, Kain quietly pleased at having Ruka's company all to himself. There was a small moment of surprise when Aido and his date came in without seeing them but for the most part, Kain was enjoying himself in the company of the girl sitting opposite him.

The cafe was rapidly filling up by then and they had to wait for some time before their dessert arrived. One of the harried waitresses finally bustled over to their booth, bearing a tray with two ice-cream sundaes on it. She placed their desserts on their table, removed their empty dishes and hastily apologised for the wait due to the busy crowd before hurrying off again. Without a word, Kain placed Ruka's order right in front of her – a double scoop of mocha and vanilla with all the toppings – chopped nuts, a swirl of caramel syrup and a dollop of whipped cream topped with a glace cherry, all beautifully arranged in a tall, frosted glass.

Ruka nodded her thanks, her eyes lighting up again. The town they were in may be small and lacking in many things but Sweet Treats café was its one redeeming factor. The food they sold here was good too but their home made ice cream was divine.

"This looks great," she commented as she took up the small teaspoon nestled in a napkin and waited for Kain to do the same. He had ordered a banana split with one scoop of butter pecan ice cream, no toppings and served in a chilled boat-shaped glass. There was no answer and she raised her head, catching his eyes fixed on her sundae.

"Akatsuki?" she enquired and Kain glanced up. "The caramel syrup," he murmured and the strangely distracted note in his voice drew Ruka's delicately shaped brows together.

"What about it?" she asked, giving a more suspicious stare at her dessert as if expecting to find something unpalatable - perhaps having six legs - on it that she hadn't seen earlier and half preparing to make a hurried but dignified exit to the Ladies' if she did.

"It's the exact shade of your hair. In this light, I mean."

Ruka blinked and looked up again. Kain's chocolate eyes were as dark and unreadable as always and she wondered if she had somehow heard him wrongly. After all, when was the last time he had ever commented on her  _hair_? Probably years ago when he told her in a resigned tone that she would have to tie it up if she didn't want it catching on tree branches anymore.

"I... beg your pardon?" Ruka asked, surprised to find herself sounding almost... nervous. Kain blinked at her words and quickly glanced down as if realising he had said something he shouldn't have. It made a strange, rather awkward silence fall at their table and Ruka's eyes dropped to her sundae again.

"Well... actually, my hair's blond," she ventured after taking a small scoop of vanilla ice cream. She didn't know why she didn't just change the subject, seeing as Kain was obviously feeling uncomfortable, or as uncomfortable as she had ever seen him but perhaps... perhaps she just wanted to hear more. Just a little more of something... well,  _pleasing_.

Kain looked up again and Ruka glimpsed an indecipherable emotion swirling in his eyes but it was gone in a flash. Or perhaps hidden... she wasn't too sure.

"No, it's not," Kain disagreed with her in that deep voice of his and Ruka's eyebrows went up again. "It's not?"

Kain shook his head gravely. "No, little Ruka. Your hair's actually the colour of caramel... of golden maple syrup... of new honey. It's not just... blond. And I know it's also the softest, finest-"

He broke off at the surprise on Ruka's face, her mouth falling open at the pet name she hadn't heard in years and at the surprising words coming from her stoic companion. A look of deep chagrin mixed with frustration swept over Kain's features and he looked down again, large hands clenching on the folds of tablecloth that hung over the edge.

_Damnit, you just_ had _to spout poetry, didn't you? She'll think you're nuts..._

But Ruka didn't. She recovered herself a moment later and coloured prettily, looking immensely pleased. "Thank you, Akatsuki! I didn't think you'd ever noticed the colour of my hair," she said with a teasing laugh. Kain gave a careful, studied shrug and deeming his hands steady enough, reached out for the handle of the teaspoon lying next to his dessert.

"There are a lot of things you don't know about me," he replied quietly before digging into his own dessert. He was careful to glance around the room as he said that, half hoping and half fearing that she would ask him to elaborate but the light laugh Ruka uttered stabbed at his heart.

_Aren't... aren't you even a little bit curious, Ruka?_

"Well, you think a lot, I know that," she tossed back at him. Kain ignored the pain in his heart and smiled but the quiet, tender moment was gone and he knew it. His smile disappearing, he stared morosely at his dessert and didn't realise that Ruka was still staring at him in surprise. She had never really noticed it before and Kain didn't really smile all that often but when he did, he looked...  _good_. Granted, his smile wasn't as perfectly perfect as Kaname's, or as sparklingly cheery as Ichijo's, or as falsely bright as Aido's. In fact, Kain's smile was a little crooked - just a very little bit - but it softened those serious looking chocolate eyes and that all too somber expression.

Almost absently, Ruka scooped a spoonful of mocha ice cream and found herself wishing that Kain would smile again, half wondering what would make him do so at the same time. Perhaps the love of his life once he met her, she found herself thinking absently. She would be a lucky one for sure.

Akatsuki Kain was someone who would love only one person for life.

\- Chapter End -


	3. Futility

\- Chapter Start -

_A couple of months later..._

Dawn was almost breaking over the horizon when Kaname decided to inform his inner circle nobles about Yuuki's past. It was officially the first day of the six week school holidays and the seven puzzled nobles gathered in the Moon Dorms living room, wondering why they were being called for a short meeting. Kaname waited until everyone was comfortably seated before he revealed Yuuki's past and her actual relationship with him. Everyone except Takuma was shocked to learn that the human girl Kaname had always favoured and protected – Yuuki Cross - was actually his younger sister. She was born a pureblood, the same as him but due to the numerous enemies the Kurans had, her mother sacrificed herself when Yuuki was five years old to keep her safe. Juuri used her own pure blood to change her daughter to a human and suppress her memories at the same time. Hence, Yuuki was not Kaname's intended betrothed as most of them had assumed but a cherished younger sister who would remain human for the rest of her life unless a pureblood bit her. With a grave smile on his lips, Kaname then informed the stunned looking nobles that a few hours ago, he had just given his blessings to Yuuki and Zero Kiryuu to be a couple.

Ruka was as stunned as the other nobles were when Kaname disclosed the news. Her wide eyes were glued to his handsome, serene features almost without blinking and as usual, she was unaware of the tall, copper haired noble sitting beside her who was watching her carefully. Kain could tell that Ruka's heart was starting to soar with hope and it was bitterly ironic that the same news made his own heart plummet in despair.

When Kaname finished speaking, everyone was quiet as they took a moment to digest the surprising news. Aido probably would have been the first to speak then but he had a mixture of belated comprehension and chagrin on his face which clearly said he now realised why the petite school prefect's blood had always seemed so extraordinarily sweet to him.

"So Yuuki Cross is not your intended life partner, Kaname-sama?" Ruka was the first one to break the stunned silence and she spoke impulsively, the tone of her voice coming out slightly higher than usual. Her words made Kain's heart sink even lower than before and he almost winced at the sharp twinge it gave at the same time. He hated hearing the  _hope_  in Ruka's voice and he hated that uncertain feeling he had, that perhaps this time... she might not be disappointed.

"No. Yuuki is my younger sister and I cherish her very, very much. She has made her choice in who she loves and it is Zero Kiryuu." Kaname saw the question in Aido's eyes even before he opened his mouth and gave another nod.

"Yes, Aido. I am even willing to assist Zero Kiryuu with my blood to stop his descent into Level E," he added. He paused for a few moments to let this news sink in and noted the various responses he obtained – immediate support from Takuma, indifference from Kain, Shiki, Rima and Seiren, shock from Aido and Ruka.

"I am requesting that all of you give Yuuki and Zero the respect and protection they deserve. Please remember to keep this news amongst yourselves." With that statement, Kaname stood up, signaling that the meeting was at an end. He left the living room and everyone was subdued as they went back upstairs to their rooms to rest. As they ascended the grand staircase, Kain allowed his eyes to linger wistfully on Ruka's slender back for longer than usual but only Takuma and Aido noticed.

\- o -

_Two weeks later..._

Ruka had always known that it was presumptuous of her to assume that Kaname would ever return her feelings. That was what she told herself constantly but with nothing else to distract her from thinking of him, she continued to hope that one day, despite their different social standing and Kaname's obvious regard for Yuuki Cross, he would one day return her affections. Hence, the tiny flame that continued to flicker in a corner of Ruka's heart was never extinguished. In fact, for the first two weeks of the school holidays, it flared even brighter than before.

Ruka did not have a chance to meet Kaname since that short meeting at the start of the holidays but Aido and Kain had come over to see her. The three of them had gone for dinner at an up market restaurant in town that was frequented by vampire nobles. Ruka's lips twisted in a rueful smile as she recalled the strangely somber air of the meal, largely due to Aido being uncharacteristically quiet and withdrawn. Kain had even tried to get a rise out of his younger cousin by commenting on how relieved he was that Aido was finally acting his age but the tousle haired blond only gave a big sigh before looking down at his plate. At that moment, Ruka winked at Kain, silently egging him on but to her surprise, the copper haired noble only shrugged before digging into his food.

In fact, both Aido and Kain were strangely silent after that and Ruka found herself carrying on an almost completely one sided conversation for the rest of the dinner with both males interjecting head nods and mumbled assents along the way. It was very strange, she mused to herself and frowned a little at the recollection. Aido being lovelorn was something to be expected, seeing as he was missing that Wakaba girl but what on earth could Kain be pining about?

Ruka shrugged and gave her attention to how she was going to do up her hair. Kaname would be attending tonight's party at the Ichijos' and she wanted to look her best. She chose an off white strapless sheath of a dress that reached all the way to her ankles in loose, graceful folds and paired it with a diamond choker and matching ear rings. Ruka was tempted to leave her hair down in loose waves but the diamonds called for sophistication and in the end, she instructed her patiently waiting maid to pull her hair back with a single lock let free from the middle of the chignon. Ruka smiled in feminine satisfaction as she turned her head this way and that while seated in front of her large vanity mirror. The artfully curled lock of hair ended just at the nape of her neck and as it caught the soft, yellow light from the top of the mirror, Kain's unexpected words ran through her mind.

_"No, little Ruka. Your hair's actually the colour of caramel... of golden maple syrup... of new honey. It's not just... blond. And I know it's also the softest, finest-"_

A soft blush rose in Ruka's cheeks at the memory and she shook her head ruefully. It was silly to keep remembering those words. She already knew that her hair was one of her best features but hearing it described with such eloquence and coming from a very unexpected source made the compliment even more... precious.

_Dear Akatsuki, you always knows the right thing to say to make me feel better...!_

With Kain's impressive height in mind now, Ruka slipped on four inch heels and caught up her snowy mink wrap. It was faux fur of course, but so well made one wouldn't be able to tell the difference. A last glance in the mirror told her she looked radiant and Ruka smiled, her eyes sparkling with a delirious mixture of excitement and hope.

Perhaps this time...Kaname would dance with her. And if he did not ask, then  _she_  would do the asking.

\- o -

Kaname entered the grand ballroom of the Ichijo mansion with Takuma by his side but before an hour had gone by, the pureblood retreated to one of the small private balconies that led off from the ballroom to temporarily escape from being the unwilling centre of gratuitous attention from the other guests. Takuma, Seiren, Aido and Kain took turns to stand guard in front of the French windows to prevent anyone from accidentally or deliberately disturbing Kaname's privacy.

Ruka danced with her older brothers as well as a couple of male nobles whose admiration of her bordered on lasciviousness. Gritting her teeth, she wished for Kain's faultless manners but consoled herself with knowing that he would seek her out later. For now, she managed to ignore her partner's gaze that was seemingly glued to either her neck or her cleavage and continued to keep an eye on where Kaname was. After the next dance, she somehow managed to slip out to the balcony when Kain temporarily left his post to look for Aido.

As she pulled open the doors with suddenly shaking fingers, Ruka's heart was hammering in her chest and seemed to have cloned itself since it was also lodged firmly in her throat. She had already prepared and memorised the words she was going to say but one look at the tall, elegant pureblood standing there made the amusingly light and flirtatious words disappear from her head.

Kaname was gorgeous in a dark tailored suit that fitted his lithe body to perfection. He had turned around when the doors opened and now, he stood there against the backdrop of the night sky with one graceful hand resting on the intricately wrought iron railing behind him. Ruka gulped. She bowed in silence and Kaname returned her salutation with a nod but after that... silence. Of the chirping crickets sort. Inwardly, Ruka was utterly mortified at her lack of both voice and speech but she couldn't speak. The utter enormity of her daring behaviour washed over her with sudden coldness and left her staring at Kaname with her hopes clearly showing in her eyes. After a long moment, Kaname sighed.

"I'm sorry, Ruka."

The three words, as quiet and soft spoken as they were, made the flame of hope in Ruka's heart flicker and it almost went out. She had known it was too much to hope for otherwise, she  _knew_  that as much as she knew her own name but hope was something resilient. Resistant. Ignorant of both reason and logic.

"I'm sorry, Ruka," Kaname repeated gently. "I know what you want to say but it's useless."

Ruka's mouth moved silently and she took a deep breath to compose herself before speaking.

"I... thought that since Yuuki Cross – Yuuki-sama - that you would... perhaps... consider..." Her halting words grew softer and softer until the last word was merely whispered and Ruka stood there, flushed scarlet with mortification.

_Stop embarrassing Kaname-sama and stop embarrassing yourself right this instant, Ruka! Where's your damned pride?!_

"No. I won't," Kaname replied in that same gentle voice but his tone was final. "I took advantage of your generosity that night and I am grateful that you stopped me from biting Yuuki. But although I have no one at my side right now, I'm afraid that place... will never be yours."

Kaname paused for a moment and then continued. "You are a very beautiful and generous young woman, Ruka. You deserve someone who will appreciate your love and will cherish you for always."

Ruka dropped her gaze and gave a quick, embarrassed nod. She knew that Kaname was letting her down very gently. He could have said that she was not worthy to be his queen since she was only a noble, but he hadn't and she should be grateful for that. Ruka's mind had long since known of the futility of this exercise; it was just her stupid heart that refused to give up and when she heard that the girl whom she had always thought of as her long time rival was out of the picture...

Ruka blinked back sudden tears. Her heart was hurting inside her and that little flame had finally died but strangely enough, there was also a sense of  _finality_  about it that demanded that she stop indulging in her foolish dreams. Kaname had been patient of her feelings up until now but she had no right to assume that he would continue to humour her like this. With that, the Souen pride came to Ruka's aid at last and she grasped it with both hands. Taking a deep breath, she squared her shoulders and lifted her head.

"In that case, Kaname-sama, I wish you every happiness. I – I shall not trouble you again about this matter," she murmured, thankful that her voice was for the most part steady. Placing her right hand over her heart, she bowed deeply before whirling around and exiting the balcony. Ruka did not see Kain approaching as she pulled shut the French windows behind her but even if she had, she had no wish to dance now. Pausing only to grab her wrap, she left the party with her head held high.

\- o -

Kain had very much looked forward to dancing with Ruka and that feeling was only magnified when he saw her enter the ballroom with her eldest brother. She looked breathtaking... radiant... a Goddess came to life, only a hundred times better than anything his boring imagination could ever have come up with. Kain promised his pounding heart that he would dance with Ruka as soon as he could, seeing as she was instantly surrounded by admirers but an hour or so later, his hopes were dashed and he didn't know which situation was more laughable – Aido's love for Sayori Wakaba, a human girl his family would never accept... or his own unrequited love for Ruka Souen, a noble girl whose heart would never be his.

" _What are you waiting for, Akatsuki? You love Ruka, don't you? You don't have to worry about her family being afraid of you or your family wanting to bite her. You don't even have a reason to hesitate, for Pete's sake!"_

Aido's frustrated and impulsively spoken words echoed again in Kain's mind and he shook his head in almost equal frustration. He was used to keeping his feelings to himself, something that was practically a given when you had two younger, squabbling charges to take care of but he didn't know what was wrong with him lately. First, his waxing lyrical to Ruka at that dessert café in town a few months ago... and now his admittance that Kaname Kuran was his stumbling block to winning Ruka's affections. What next? Declaring his hopeless love for her from below her bedroom window, complete with old, battered guitar and sappy love song?

Was it because Aido's smitten state for Sayori had rubbed off on him, somehow? Kain wondered as he ran a hand around the back of his neck. After all, he had admired Aido's perseverance in pursuing that human girl ever since the tousle haired blond vowed not to take her blood and in front of Kiryuu and Yuuki, no less.

Kain frowned deeply, his fingers massaging the tense knot at the back of his neck. His agitated feelings were confusing him. He had always been resigned to knowing that his place when it came to Ruka was as her friend and a confidant, not as a lover. He was used to the ever present ache in his heart upon knowing that she loved another... but once he saw her or had the pleasure of her enchanting company all to himself, he forgot all those logical reasons and felt only a stupid burning need to – God forgive him for torturing his heart still further – try to win her love, as impossible as it was. If anything, that need was even more impossible than before because they now knew that Yuuki Cross was no longer Kaname's love but his younger sister. That meant that the regal and charismatic Moon Dorm leader was now unattached and more importantly,  _available_.

For the past two weeks, Kain's hopes had dwindled, knowing that Ruka still longed for Kaname. He had called himself all kinds of a fool for even daring to hope and had more or less reconciled himself to forever being Ruka's friend but Fate wasn't done with tormenting him yet. She lingered around to whisper tempting promises of happiness in his ear. All because Kain had slipped away to find Aido the first time and when he failed, he returned to Kaname's balcony just in time to see Ruka coming from there with a rosy flush on her smooth cheeks and her lips pressed into a thin line. From the tense set of her slender shoulders and her less than ecstatic reaction, Kain knew that whatever had gone on between her and Kaname wouldn't have been in her favour. Kain shoved his hands into his trouser pockets as he watched Ruka walk off with her mink wrap. He was sad that he wouldn't get a chance to dance with her after all but her obvious hurt had made him almost hate the sudden, elated leap his heart gave then.

Well, no one could blame him for being one angry and confused noble tonight! Kain ground his teeth as he left the ballroom as well, hating the conflicting feelings raging about inside his heart as it swung wildly from wanting to pursue Ruka and wanting to give up on her.

\- o -

Ever since the night of the party. Ruka was quiet and kept to her room most of the time, coming down only for meals. A few nights later, she found her blood tablet box empty when she went to take one and she groaned softly. She had meant to fill up her box before coming home for the holidays since the tablets had to sustain her for six weeks but Kaname's surprising announcement had swept every other thing from her mind.

Ruka stared down at the empty container and sighed. She could always get more tablets from Aido or Kain, she supposed and as luck would have it, Kain came over the following night. Ruka was sitting in bed and listlessly leafing through a fashion magazine when she heard the faint sounds of a car approaching the long drive leading up to the house, its muted headlights lighting the way. The door bell chimed soon after that but she ignored it until a discreet knock sounded on her door.

"Ruka-sama," her maid's voice was soft. "Akatsuki-sama is here to see you."

With a soft sigh, Ruka got up and went over to her vanity table to run a brush through her hair, hoping that Kain's visit would cheer her up.

\- o -

Kain automatically stood up when Ruka entered the living room. Good manners had been instilled in him since young and while he may relax his behaviour a little at Cross Academy, he was always faultlessly polite at home or at any of his friends' homes. Ruka smiled a greeting but her face was pale and the faint violet shadows under her eyes indicated she hadn't slept well for the past few nights. Kain's eyes narrowed with concern.

"Ruka?" he asked quietly. "Are you feeling all right?"

Ruka quickly nodded and she made another attempt to smile again. Before Kain could say anything, she quickly seated herself on the sofa and gestured him to an armchair. He moved to the armchair, hesitated and came over to sit down beside her instead, leaving a foot or so of space between them.

Both of them were silent for a minute or so. Kain knew what was troubling Ruka but he also knew better than to ask her outright about it. There were certain boundaries he never crossed when it came to her and more than anything else, he feared that she would push him away if he probed too deeply. At least, as her trusted friend and almost brother, she was close to him in a way no one else was. Ruka had crossed her slim legs and placed her clasped hands on her knee, vaguely conscious of the floaty chiffon material of her dress against her skin. Now she turned to face Kain, her eyebrows slightly raised.

"What's up, Akatsuki?" she asked and he shrugged.

"It's Hanabusa. He called me earlier to ask if I was free this weekend." Kain's explanation made Ruka's delicate brows draw together.

"But you're going to see him anyway, aren't you?" she asked, vaguely recalling there was some sort of family gathering at the Aido place this weekend. Kain was pleased to see a faint spark of interest in Ruka's eyes and he gave her his rare smile.

"Actually, he's planning to spend this weekend in a little seaside town." He mentioned the name of the town and Ruka's eyebrows rose a little.

"Because…?"

"Because Sayori Wakaba is going there with her brother and his wife," Kain elaborated with a meaningful look in his chocolate eyes. Ruka shook her head at that but she smiled. It was a sign of how well she and Kain knew Aido by now that she hadn't appeared more surprised, just as she already knew for sure that Kain had agreed to accompany his younger cousin there.

"Well, you two boys have fun then," she said lightly but she couldn't help feeling a little left out. Her crestfallen look caught Kain's attention immediately and reminded him that he was here to invite Ruka to accompany them. After all, they did most things together. Besides, Aido would want to be with Sayori all the time and Kain knew it was going to be lonesome just by himself. He leaned forward and held Ruka's eyes with his earnest ones.

"Come with us, Ruka. Hanabusa has promised to get two hotel rooms. I'll bunk in with him and you can have the other one," he offered. He didn't have to; Ruka already knew she would always get a room of her own if Kain was involved and if for some strange reason the three of them had to share a room, she knew she would always get the bed and the other two the sofa or the floor but that wasn't the reason why she shook her head now.

"Thanks, Akatsuki but... I just want to rest this weekend," she refused. It was Kain's turn to raise his eyebrows in surprise.

"Rest? We've been on holiday for three weeks already and we don't even have any school assignments. Besides, it can't be much fun cooped up at home all the time."

Ruka frowned and opened her mouth to argue but Kain beat her to it.

"You look like you could use a change of scene," he told her with uncharacteristic bluntness – it was the closest he had ever come to telling her she looked less than perfect and Ruka blinked. Then she sighed. It wasn't that she didn't want to come... it was just that... Ruka tried for an apologetic smile.

"I just don't feel like I would be very good company right now," she said gently but Kain shook his head at once.

"You're always good company, Ruka," he reassured her gallantly. "Besides, with Hanabusa going to meet his girlfriend, how am I going to pass the time? Painting the town red?"

The thought of Kain partying hard was such an unlikely prospect that Ruka smiled again, a genuine smile that caused Kain's strong heart to lurch traitorously in his chest.

"Well..." she hedged delicately and Kain reached for both her clasped hands, holding them gently in his larger, warmer ones.

"Please, little Ruka?" he asked softly. "It wouldn't be good without you."

Ruka blushed. She couldn't help it - Kain's pet name sounded... well,  _weird_  now that she was all grown up but... well, she kind of liked it. At least she did as long as he remembered not to say it in front of the others, particularly Aido. Ruka also found herself wondering how someone as purely honest as Akatsuki Kain could utter such a blatant lie that almost convinced her but she found her resolve weakening. Perhaps it hadn't been that strong in the first place.

"You're lying, Akatsuki," she said with a rueful smile. "But you're right. I don't really have anything to do so... all right, I'll come along."

Kain's smile lit up his face as he murmured his thanks and squeezed her hands gently. Ruka blinked. Kain's unexpected smile had surprised her again. He really should do that more often, she thought distractedly as she excused herself and went to look for her mother. Ruka wasn't really surprised to receive immediate permission for the trip as soon as her mother knew who she was going with. After all, Kain's reputation for being both a caretaker and a gentleman was rock solid and the elder Souen female knew that her only daughter would be in no safer hands.

It wasn't until Ruka had started packing that she realised two things – one was that she had forgotten to ask Kain for extra tablets and the other was that she was surprisingly looking forward to the short weekend trip.

Yes. Kain's gentle and undemanding company was the exact thing she needed to pull herself together.

\- Chapter End -


	4. Hope

**Author Notes:**  The next chapter! I've decided to slow down the story a little so it will take more than 10 chapters to complete. It's rather a challenge fleshing out Kain and Ruka than say, Zero and Yuuki or Aido and Yori so please forgive any OOCness and I hope you enjoy this chapter :D

\- Chapter Start -

Kain wasn't at all surprised to find himself whistling under his breath as he emerged from the garage of his large family home. He was extremely pleased that Ruka was accompanying Aido and him this weekend and he knew it. In actual fact, Kain hadn't wanted to follow Aido at all - Rima's parents were planning a dinner and dance on Saturday night and he was looking forward to finally having Ruka all to himself. He hadn't gotten a chance to dance with her at the Ichijos' last week but with Kaname safely back at Cross Academy this week, Kain knew there was nothing to stop him from dancing with Ruka all night long if she would let him.

It was very hard to turn down an extremely desperate Aido though, especially when his huge blue eyes were focused entirely on you but Kain, with his long years of experience behind him, only agreed after the blond hinted that Ruka would most likely find the Tooyas' dance boring without her two male friends and hence could easily be persuaded to come along as well. Kain shook his head ruefully at himself as he went upstairs to his room. It looked like Aido knew him too well. Yes, he would be happy wherever he was if Ruka was there too. A dance was just a dance and a small seaside town just that but both were paradise as long as her presence graced either event or place.

Still feeling vaguely unsettled at how transparent his feelings were to apparently everyone but the girl they were for, Kain sat down on his bed and reached for the telephone. He wanted to find out what that small town offered in terms of entertainment.

\- o -

As far as Aido and Kain were concerned, the day of the trip couldn't come soon enough but at last they were going to the Souen home by cab to pick Ruka up enroute to the airport. When the front door opened, a male servant trotted out with a large suitcase and a vanity case. Both were part of a branded set made from top quality leather in maroon with gold plated trim but that wasn't the reason why Aido was looking askance at them. He then turned to Kain with a disbelieving look, ignoring Ruka completely.

"Akatsuki," Aido said in an exaggeratedly patient voice that he knew would annoy her no end. "Did you tell her we were going for a round the world tour?"

Ruka's initial smile disappeared and her pretty eyes narrowed dangerously at the tousle haired blond. Kain merely gave her a quick nod and ignored his cousin.

"Hello, Ruka. I'm glad you're on time," he said mildly, opting to let her respond to Aido's jibe. As the servant reverently placed the luggage into the trunk of the cab, Kain took the opportunity to admire the pretty picture Ruka made in a crisp white linen collared shirt and dark blue designer jeans. There was a dark gold cardigan flung around her shoulders, its long sleeves casually looped in front. Ruka had caught up her long hair into a knot and fixed it in place with a decorative chopstick, leaving a few tendrils curling around her pretty but now annoyed face.

"I have no idea what that small remote town of yours has so I packed a little extra, just in case," she retorted coolly and walked over to the car where Kain was holding the door open. Both of them chose to ignore Aido's derisive snort.

"A  _little?!_ "

\- o -

An hour later, they were airborne and occupying three adjacent seats on the right aisle of the plane. Aido had called dibs on the window seat, eager to be the first one amongst them to set eyes on their destination. Kain was next to the aisle and Ruka comfortably sandwiched between the two males. She spent the first ten minutes leafing through the in flight magazine but her brows drew together as the smiling air stewardess who was making her way down the aisle handed each of them a small coloured booklet.

"Why are they giving out menus?" Ruka voiced out her confusion with a puzzled frown. As far as she knew, airlines only served meals for flights that were at least two hours long. Aido saw the dawning suspicion in her eyes and hurriedly glanced away as Kain gave a rare grin, having already known all the pertinent details of their flight... including the estimated arrival time.

"Because it's a three hour flight," Aido finally mumbled after an overly long pause. Ruka stared at his slightly pink side profile for another uncomfortably long moment before turning a disbelieving face to Kain on her left.

"Did he just say  _three_ hours, Akatsuki?"

Kain nodded. "He did," he confirmed calmly. Ruka's head whipped right back to glare at Aido.

"A three hour flight? You call this a short trip?" she hissed and Aido hunched a shoulder uncomfortably.

"All right. So it's a little more than an hour but-"

"A  _little?!_ "

Aido winced as Ruka's voice went a few tones higher but Kain only chuckled at the familiar words. He realised belatedly that he should have sat in between his cousin and Ruka. Still, diffusing the tension between them was second nature by now and he stepped in smoothly without even having to think.

"That's because he's eager to see his girlfriend again," he put in with his usual dry tone. Aido immediately scowled and turned away in a huff. He yanked up the window shade he had pulled down earlier and at once, all three nobles cringed.

"Hanabusa!" Ruka very nearly shrieked. One of the setting rays of the sun had shot right into her eyes, giving her an almost instant migraine. Aido yanked the shade down so fast he almost cracked it.

"Sorry," he muttered. Kain sighed, conscious that some of the surrounding passengers were now giving them curious looks. After all, the sunset was a beautiful one what with all those yellow, orange and pinkish hues staining the fluffy surface of the surrounding clouds. Which human possessing a working pair of eyes wouldn't want to gaze upon one of nature's wonders?

A third and longer silence lasting almost twenty minutes crawled by with Aido studiously ignoring both of them and Ruka massaging her temples with slender fingers and wearing a long suffering look on her face. At last, their meal was served. It wasn't too bad as far as airline food went and Kain polished off his chicken chop with alacrity. He was willing to bet that Aido ate his without even tasting it since his blue eyes now had a faraway look but Ruka only picked at her Caesar salad.

"Aren't you hungry?" Kain asked her quietly and the honey blond beauty merely shrugged in reply.

"No. Just... tired, I guess," she murmured softly, unaware that Kain's chocolate eyes had darkened a shade with concern. Ruka's skin was usually milky pale but under the artificial lighting, it had an almost greenish cast that made her look peaky. Kain refrained from saying anything more but he hoped that the sea air would bring some colour to her cheeks, adding a reminder to himself to keep tabs on how much she ate. After the dinner trays had been cleared away, Ruka yawned delicately. There was still an hour and a half to go and she had nothing else to do now, having leafed through the in flight magazine during the first ten minutes of the flight.

"I think I'll take a nap," she announced to nobody in particular. Aido ignored her as usual but Kain looked up at once. "Here," he offered as he shifted closer to her. Without a word, Ruka leaned her head on a broad shoulder with a familiarity that brought both joy and pain to its owner's heart. With her sitting this close, Kain was more than aware of the flower fresh scent of her shampoo. His eyes slid closed as he filled his lungs with the intoxicating scent and felt his heart squeeze in response. He knew that Aido was looking at him with a sly grin on his face but frankly, the copper haired noble didn't care. He would take what he could even if they were only brief moments of happiness... like this was.

Ruka dropped off to sleep almost immediately but Kain waited a couple of minutes before cautiously turning his head to bury his nose in her shiny, silky hair. Despite the too small seat and the cramped leg room, he could happily spend an eternity in this airplane, lost in the illusion that Ruka was somehow and miraculously  _his_.

\- o -

The small airport was teeming with tourists as it was the weekend and the three nobles had to wait for cabs. Kain half expected Ruka's impatience to show but she was uncharacteristically quiet and he didn't know whether he should be relieved or worried. Eventually though, they managed to get a cab and reached the seaside town twenty minutes later.

It was a very small town that consisted of only one main road dividing two rows of hotels and shops. On one side was the ocean, separated by a broad cemented pedestrian walk, where a thick stone railing designated the start of the white sandy beach about eight feet below. A number of small stalls selling souvenirs and refreshments were placed along the walk, interspersed with wooden benches and streetlamps but since it was already ten o'clock at night, the stalls were closed and the benches mostly empty except for a few couples enjoying the late evening breeze.

The cab left the three of them standing at the curb with their luggage – Kain's duffel bag and Aido's small but smart suitcase placed next to Ruka's luggage. As usual, she ignored them and went over to the walk to gaze out at the sea. It was a warm night but she didn't seem to notice, lost in thought again. Kain and Aido soon walked over to her with the former worrying again and the latter only looking impatient.

"Ruka... let's go find our hotel and check in first, OK?" Kain spoke quietly.

Ruka nodded and they went to the hotel together, the two males having divided the bags amongst themselves. They checked in and Kain was thankful that he had made sure Aido had booked their rooms in advance since there were no more rooms available tonight or tomorrow. As soon as they got their room keys, Ruka announced that she wanted to take a shower before doing anything else so the two boys went up to their room next door to hers to unpack and wait.

Ruka was done in just under half an hour. She was still wearing the same pair of jeans but had swapped the white shirt for a black lycra spaghetti strap top under the gold cardigan. Her hair was still swept up and held in place with the gold coloured chopstick but the tendrils that framed her face were damp from her recent shower. With fine gold hoops in her ears and a dash of peach lip gloss she looked gorgeous. Kain's eyes were appropriately awed even if he didn't say a word.

The three nobles exited the hotel and walked along the row of shops for about a minute before they came to a twenty four hour café. It was open but there weren't a lot of choices available at such a late hour – it was around eleven now. Kain and Aido ordered double decker sandwiches and hot chocolate but Ruka insisted she was satisfied with only a light seafood broth. Apart from a pub or two, no other shops were open so they strolled back to the hotel after their meal.

Aido excused himself as soon as they had made a quick tour of the small hotel. It was only midnight but the tousle haired blond was more interested in catching up on his sleep than anything else since he was expecting Sayori in the morning.

"Well, looks like it's just the two of us again," Kain remarked casually to Ruka. He didn't look as if he wasn't in the least bit put out at his cousin's absence.

_In fact, so much the better..._

"Is there anything you'd like to do now?" he prompted and got a shrug back in reply.

"What is there to do in this place, Akatsuki?" Ruka sighed before gesturing at the main door of the hotel. "Let's go take another walk."

Kain agreed immediately as they both knew he would. They went outside again and crossed the deserted road before stepping onto the cemented pavement. Ruka tilted her face up and breathed deeply, almost tasting the salty tang of the air. They were the only ones on the walk right now and she was fully content to stay in Kain's quiet but reassuring company. Neither one of them felt inclined to break the comfortable silence so they walked on without saying anything.

After a couple of minutes, they realised they weren't alone anymore. The faint rasp of bicycle tires on the pavement behind them grew louder and the brief ring of a bell sounded. It wasn't necessary of course since both the nobles had already glanced behind them and soon, a teenaged couple on bicycles swept past. The boy and girl waved to them as they went by, laughing as they playfully raced each other.

Kain glanced at Ruka to see a wistful smile on her face as she gazed after them.

"Why that smile?" he wanted to know. The female noble sighed as she tucked a lock of hair behind her ear.

"It's not much fun being the only daughter of a noble family, you know," she said wistfully, sounding almost sad. "There were so many things I couldn't do..."

Kain quirked an eyebrow. "Such as?" he prompted. Ruka nodded her head at the cycling couple who were almost out of sight by now even though the faint sounds of their laughter were still audible to sensitive vampire ears.

"Such as riding a bicycle," she murmured half deprecatingly. Kain blinked in surprise; not at her wish which he considered perfectly normal but because of the way she had said it - as if she could no longer do so.

"There's no reason why you can't learn now," he countered but Ruka only gave a small laugh. "What – now? Akatsuki, I'm too old to learn!" She shook her head. "Forget what I said, I was just being silly."

It was obvious that she still harboured that wish, however silly she thought it and Kain shook his head decisively. "There's nothing silly in wanting to try something new and besides, you're never too old to learn," he encouraged. Ruka still looked a little doubtful but the copper haired noble both sounded and looked perfectly serious and after a moment, she relented and gave a small smile.

"You don't think it strange? Me wanting to do that?" she asked with a heart tugging blend of curiosity and hope in her voice. To be honest, Kain wouldn't have said it was strange even if Ruka had professed a wish to ride a bicycle while standing on her head and knitting a sweater at the same time so he only shook his head again.

"Not in the least, Ruka," he assured her gravely. "Riding a bicycle is easy. I could teach you if you like," he offered, hoping he didn't sound too eager. He had already learned that most of the locals here preferred to ride bicycles and they were easily available for tourists to rent - like the couple who had just passed them earlier. It was Ruka's turn now to raise an eyebrow at Kain's casual tone.

"Oh? I suppose you cycle like a pro?" she teased but he merely nodded, dispensing with false modesty.

"Good enough. Did you know there's also a place near our school where you can also rent them? It's at the end of the next block after the Sweet Treats cafe."

"Oh?" Ruka looked somewhat chagrined now. She hadn't known that but now that she did... Her soft brown eyes lit up all of a sudden and Kain found himself watching her very closely, his heart thumping a little faster than usual.

"So – do you want to learn?" he prompted after a moment. Ruka nodded eagerly and Kain's traitorous heart give a little leap of joy.

"If you want to, I can also teach you how to ride a motorbike," he mentioned as casually as he could. He had bought himself a dark red metallic Honda Fury Chopper about year ago, one that he polished and rode whenever he was home and wanted to be alone with his thoughts for a while. Of course he had the privacy of his own room but that was nothing compared to the feel of controlling a powerful machine on a lonely road in the early hours of the morning with nobody for miles and the cool crisp wind whistling through your hair...

Much to Kain's surprise, Ruka nodded again, this time with a delighted smile.

"Oh, I've always wanted to ride one!" she exclaimed before hastily correcting herself a second later, "Well, not learn to ride one exactly but to go for a ride on one..."

Ruka's voice dwindled off and she wrinkled her nose in disapproval. "My brothers never allowed me to, you know. They always complained it was  _far too dangerous_." The last three words were uttered with righteous condescension and a dangerous flash of red in her eyes. Kain held back a grin with difficulty.

"Well, of course they worry for your safety but I know my limits and how to control my bike. I'm a careful rider, Ruka."

Kain was perfectly serious when he said that so when Ruka laughed, he wasn't sure whether to be pleased or offended.

"Are you ever anything  _else_ , Akatsuki?" she teased but her eyes were twinkling and Kain suddenly felt...  _redeemed_. Before he could stop himself, his mind was busy conjuring up pictures of himself astride the Fury with Ruka perched gracefully behind him. Her slender arms would be wound trustingly around his waist and her slim body pressed against his back as they sped off into the night with her hair streaming behind her...

"Akatsuki?"

The images popped and Kain blinked, his mind scrambling to remember what he had been saying just moments before.

"So you'll teach me?" Ruka asked helpfully. With the enchantingly eager smile on her face, Kain had to take a moment to steady his voice before he dared to answer her.

"Which - cycling or riding on a bike?" he asked innocently.

"Both!"

It was a close call but Kain managed to hold back an uncharacteristic whoop of joy and only allowed himself a careful nod.

"All you need to do is ask, little Ruka," he replied, his deep voice just a tad huskier than usual. To her embarrassment, Ruka found herself blushing again and she quickly bit her lip.

"Why do you keep calling me that, Akatsuki?" she blurted out before she could stop herself. The suddenness of her question caught Kain unawares and he answered her before he could weigh his words.

"Because I like it," he admitted and almost winced when Ruka stared at him.

"Uh, if you don't like-"

"No! I mean, uhm, I... don't... really mind it," Ruka replied hastily but she had dropped her gaze, conscious of her still warm face. There was no answer from the tall noble standing in front of her so after a moment, she looked up hesitantly, feeling unaccountably nervous of all things. Kain's dark eyes were as unreadable as ever but something about the very still way he was standing and looking at her made Ruka feel that he was waiting for her to say something else.

_Only... I have no idea what that is._

"I - uh, you spoil me, you know," Ruka finally said and Kain's broad shoulders slumped.

"Do I?" he asked lightly but the moment had passed and they both knew it. Kain decided to let it go for now... perhaps it was too soon.

"By the way, is there anything else you wanted to do but never got a chance to?" he asked.

Ruka didn't know whether to feel relieved or disappointed at the change in subject. All the same, she started listing some activities that had Kain blinking in surprise again - paragliding, kayaking, jungle trekking and even mountain climbing. He knew that Ruka had been something of a tomboy when she was young but he thought she had long outgrown that. He was taken aback to realise that she had only suppressed those wishes all these years in order to fit a more decorous mould that her family and society expected of her. This time, Kain wasn't at all surprised when his heart ached again. He knew first hand how hard it was to hide something you longed for...

Ruka couldn't help laughing a little at the unusually stunned look on Kain's face.

"So... do you think I'm strange now?" she asked and the shy note in her voice made a lump appear in Kain's throat. Quickly, he shook his head.

"Not in the least," he reassured her. "There's nothing strange about wanting to be yourself, Ruka. I... I think it's great!"

Ruka was more relieved than she thought she would be. She should have know Kain would never laugh at her no matter how silly she was. He was a perfect gentleman after all. They continued walking for half a minute and the breeze from the sea picked up. Ruka shook a lock of hair from her left eye but the salty wind promptly blew it back. With a resigned sigh, she stopped and slanted a wry look at Kain.

"One minute - I need to do my hair."

Kain had stopped as well and he watched closely as Ruka pulled the chopstick out. Immediately, a gloriously wavy cascade of shampoo fresh, caramel coloured locks tumbled down and Kain swallowed as his blood heated up at the sight. He wondered a little uneasily if there was something wrong with him. It was perfectly understandable for a guy to admire a girl's hair particularly if it was as pretty as Ruka's... but was there something wrong about actually getting turned on by the gleaming long honey coloured waves?

Happily oblivious to the way Kain's eyes were swiftly turning several shades darker, Ruka shook her hair back and caught it up in a long ponytail, preparing to twist it into a knot again.

"Hey... why not leave it down?" Kain's abruptly voiced question made Ruka pause. She had the chopstick held loosely between her lips but she took it now with one hand to ask, "Why? The wind's messing it up!"

Kain gave that diffident shrug that was so quintessentially him. "Because," he said softly and gave in to the almost overpowering impulse to touch her hair. Slowly, he lifted a hand and twined a loose curl around his finger. Ruka merely raised an eyebrow, still holding her ponytail with one hand.

"Because?" she prompted curiously but there was only that same little shrug from the copper haired noble so Ruka waited and wondered why she was suddenly so interested to know.

"Because it's so pretty like this," Kain finally admitted, his eyes seemingly fixated on the lock of hair curled oh so lovingly around his finger. Ruka forced an uncertain laugh and even to her ears, it had an oddly breathless note which she resolutely ignored.

"You mean you like it messy and tangled?" she asked, the exasperation in her voice clearly carrying the unspoken message of 'boys and their fixation with a female's long hair'.

Kain's lips quirked at that but he regarded her solemnly with his head tilted to one side. "Your hair is gorgeous, little Ruka. It could  _never_  be messy or tangled."

Ruka's mouth fell open as she stared at an increasingly discomfited looking Kain. "No one's ever said that about my hair before, Akatsuki," she stated, her eyes glued to the very, very rare flush painted on his lean cheeks and the equally rare sight of him looking at a complete loss for words. Silently, Kain cursed that overpowering need to spout nonsensical poetry in front of the girl of his dreams, making him sound like a total love sick idiot. He quickly dropped his gaze, shoved both hands into his jeans pockets again and looked away.

Ruka waited for all of ten seconds for Kain to look at her but he didn't so she spoke instead.

"All right... since you happen to like it this way," she said, her voice far gentler than she had intended. Kain started breathing again. He half turned his head to give her an uncertain, shy look.

"I do," he answered quietly. Ruka smiled at him tentatively, strangely pleased that the awkward moment was past. There seemed to be an awful lot of those on this walk alone...

"Good!" she said. She tucked the hair accessory into her jeans pocket and resolutely shook her hair back. After a brief hesitation, she clasped Kain's left elbow with her right hand, telling herself it was more out of a wish to appear normal than to consciously touch him.

"Shall we continue up to there and turn back?"

Kain nodded without bothering to look where Ruka's manicured finger was pointing at. He still looked like he didn't know what to say and for some reason, she wanted to make him feel comfortable again. Ruka found that she didn't know how to deal with a Kain who looked less than one hundred percent calm, detached and decisive.

They walked on for another minute or so in silence with Ruka wracking three quarters of her brain for something useful to say while the remaining quarter cursed the breeze for creating havoc with her hair. The latter was easy enough to deal with though since her own element was wind. Ruka simply blocked the breeze before it could touch her hair but as for the former, she could only come up with blank.

It was strange but now that she thought about it, the fact that Aido usually kept company with them meant that he and Ruka had plenty of things to bicker about while Kain occupied himself with keeping the peace between them and stepping in when things got overheated. Ruka was suddenly uncomfortably aware that Kain knew practically everything there was to know about her, including her hopeless feelings for Kaname-sama while she... knew next to nothing about the tall, silent boy at her side.

"What about you, Akatsuki?" she asked suddenly.

"What about me?" Contrary to his mood earlier, Kain now sounded melancholy. Subdued. He didn't even look like he was aware of her hand tucked into the crook of his elbow.

"Is there anything you've always wanted to do or wanted to have?" Ruka persisted and Kain gave her a startled sideways look.

_Dear God... am I really that good at hiding how I feel?_

He hesitated for an instant before shaking his head resolutely. He had already revealed too much for one night.

"I'm fine," he lied but Ruka was still looking at him expectantly and he shrugged.

"I'm the middle child in my family, Ruka. I've always had the freedom to do whatever I wanted..." Kain snapped his mouth shut but from the suddenly empathetic look in Ruka's eyes, he knew he had said too much again. The gentle squeeze of the feminine fingers on his arm confirmed that fact.

"So that's why you stuck with Hanabusa and I?" Ruka murmured softly with a wry note in her voice. "A spoiled brat and an equally spoiled tomboy?"

Ruka's gaze was gentle and it was Kain's turn to give a tentative smile as he pressed his left arm close to his side, trapping her fingers in a light hold.

"I've always enjoyed both your companies," he admitted truthfully. There was no doubt at all in Ruka's mind that Akatsuki Kain was truly an angel and she smiled. There were moments in their earlier conversation that had unnerved her a little but Kain's familiar gallantry now was immensely reassuring and Ruka linked both her slender arms around his muscular one and pulled it firmly towards her in a spontaneous hug.

"You're lying! Hanabusa and I must have given you a lot of grief, Akatsuki, but rest assured, we both appreciate it!" she laughed.

Kain hardly heard her words. He was wearing a thin cotton shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows but he had stopped walking the instant he found his left arm cradled close to Ruka's chest. He had encountered curves. Two very soft and perfectly rounded curves under that black top hidden by lace cups that just weren't thick enough, damnit!

Kain swallowed, feeling unsettled and almost light headed at the unexpected contact. He didn't know why. He had given brotherly two armed hugs to Ruka before, the last one being the night when he had comforted her after Kaname had refused her blood the second time... but this time was markedly and frighteningly different. His blood was rushing  _everywhere_ inside him now, even up to his face but strangely enough, none of it was going to his brain. Most of it had rushed lower and was starting to pool in a most inconvenient location.

"I don't think Hanabusa would share your sentiments," Kain managed to get out, his voice sounding rather strained.

_Ruka... Ruka, can I have my arm back please, before it dies a happy limb?_

Oh God. That was what came of having a brain that was deprived of oxygen rich blood. It started going into acute shock and saying all sorts of weird things to its owner. Kain chanced an almost frightened look at Ruka but she was smiling happily up at him.

"I do," she said softly and Kain stared at her with his lips parted in shock. Had she really said that? Did she have any idea how many times had he had  _dreamt_ of her saying those two little words to him?

Only a million. But that was probably why Kain's iron control cracked at last.

\- Chapter End -


	5. Impulse

\- Chapter Start -

_"I do," she said softly and Kain stared at her with his lips parted in shock. Had she really said that? Did she have any idea how many times had he had dreamt of her saying those two little words to him?_

_Only a million. But that was probably why his iron control cracked at last._

In less than a heartbeat, Kain found himself holding Ruka tightly with her body pressed flush against his. He didn't know how that had happened. In one instant, he was staring at her in pure shock as if his one dream had come true all at once and in the next, he had pulled his arm free and thrown both of them around her to yank her close. That sudden and tight embrace lasted for all of five heart stopping seconds.

The kiss right after that lasted for another five.

With his right arm around Ruka's shoulders and his left one around her slender waist, Kain dipped his head and buried his face in the loose waves of her hair. He breathed in its fragrance in ragged gulps as if it was the one thing he needed to survive. Logic and rationality had temporarily deserted him. Plain decency had fled.

_A-Akatsuki...?_

Ruka was completely speechless to find herself in a hug that was as sudden as it was swift. Kain had moved faster than she had ever seen him move and the next thing she knew, her face was pressed to a strong broad shoulder, the soft material of his cotton shirt caressing her face. She could both feel and hear the fast thudding of his heart against one of her palms which were pressed flat against his chest.

Kain's mind may have stopped functioning at that moment but his body hadn't. It recognised that this was a golden opportunity; a very, very rare occurrence that should be fully exploited before common sense returned along with a hearty dose of condemnation. Accordingly, his right hand moved and long fingers clenched onto the silky hair at the nape of Ruka's neck, pulling her head back and baring her face to his.

The hard kiss that ensued a second later was as sudden as it was desperate. As determined as it was inexperienced. Kain had never really kissed anyone before unless you counted those brief pecks on the cheeks reserved for female relatives whether elderly or otherwise, or that night he had carried Ruka to her room and touched his lips to her forehead with infinite gentleness. Later on, he would suppose that this real kiss might have been considered a chaste one since tongues certainly had no opportunity to come into play but the sheer desperation that made it happen ruled that out.

When Kain finally lifted his head, he realised Ruka was very still and had been like that from the moment he hugged her. In fact, he was still hugging – no,  _crushing_  her. Quickly, he released her and took a step back, his hands lingering on her arms in case she fell. Kain's heart was still pounding hard in his chest but boyish elation was now mixed with fear that he had gone too far. After all, he was her friend and nothing more than that. His senses were still reeling in newfound delight at the sweet taste of Ruka on his lips and the equally sweet feel of her body against his but he couldn't help eyeing her apprehensively.

That sudden embrace was an irrational enough thing to do but it was nothing compared to that kiss. For someone who prided himself on thinking before acting – especially after having grown up with a cousin who usually acted the other way around - and perfecting his remote, detached air and perfect manners, Kain had blown it big time and he knew it. He didn't even have a good reason for doing what he had. The moment Ruka had said those two magical words with that unbelievably happy smile on her face, all his oxygen-deprived brain could think of were two words - wedding bells.

And another two words – hug her.

And a further two – kiss her.

Now though, he could only think of one.

_Crap._

Ruka's eyes were wide, her pretty mouth open and her cheeks flushed a bright pink as she stared up into twin pools of a deep rich chocolate. She had never before seen such depth of emotion in Kain's eyes. He was breathing quickly and Ruka could feel the warm puffs of air brushing her cheeks but she was too shocked to even think of looking away.

In the end, it was Kain who moved first. With a muttered curse, he swung away and dragged shaky hands through his hair, feeling the warmth sweeping up from his neck to stain his cheeks. Ruka continued to stare at Kain as he cursed out loud. He dragged one hand unsteadily around the back of his neck before forcing both arms down at his sides, large hands bunching into fists. He didn't dare look at her. Not now when his body was shaking, his cheeks were burning and he couldn't even think. This was bad. He  _needed_  to be able to think. He needed to know what to say to salvage the situation... but his mind was a blank.

It was almost half a minute later before Ruka realised her mouth was still open in a most undignified manner. She snapped it shut and blinked, conscious of the rapid, almost uneasy beat of her heart. Taking a deep breath, she finally gave voice to her puzzlement.

"Akat – uh... uhm, A-Akatsuki Kain, wh-what was  _that_  for?"

Kain only turned his head to give her a sidelong look but Ruka almost stamped her foot at how her embarrassingly uncertain her words had come out. She ground her small teeth in vexation and dipped her head, letting her honey coloured tresses hide her face from Kain's searching gaze. It wasn't as if that was her first real kiss – even though it was – and it wasn't as if he hadn't hugged her before - he had, lots of times. He had also carried her that one time when she had fainted from blood loss and had even kissed her forehead then. Kain was her  _best male friend_  and there was nothing wrong with friends hugging, for heaven's sake!

But that wasn't your usual platonic sort of hug, was it? No, it was so... so  _close_! So close and so... so  _sudden_. Hard. Pressed so close to another person's body you could feel their heart beat next to yours sort of hard.

Kain chose that second to swing around to fully face her and Ruka's head went up with a sharp inhalation of breath that was more than halfway to sounding panicked. She gulped, found her eyes immediately focusing on his full lips and dragged her gaze downward again. But Kain hadn't just hugged her, had he? No, he had also kissed her the same way he had hugged her. Close. Sudden. Hard. And right on her mouth. Heavens, she could still feel the imprint of his firm lips upon hers...

Ruka's face jerked up again as she nervously ran her tongue over her lips, tasting that unfamiliar taste that was somehow still so dearly familiar to her. She instantly wished she hadn't when Kain's dark gaze latched onto her mouth in turn but with a most disturbing intensity. Ruka almost took a step back out of reflex. She stopped herself in time but found herself looking away yet again, almost frightened at how startlingly alive his eyes looked. It was so strange to see Kain's eyes like that; they were normally filled with resigned tolerance at Aido's antics or gentle concern when he looked at her but this – this  _vitality_  in their depths was something so very, very different.

A long moment of silence crawled by. Kain didn't say anything even though Ruka knew he was still standing in front of her... as if waiting for her to speak first. She couldn't ignore him like this. Slowly, her head came up again almost of its own volition and her eyes met his once more. She was confused as hell and she knew it. Kain could feel his heart still pounding madly in his chest. Ruka looked confused and almost frightened. He knew that he should apologise first – preferably before all hell broke loose – but he also knew that the questions were going to come whether or not he apologised so for once... he didn't. Perhaps he was in one of his rare, rebellious moods now but he just didn't feel like apologising for something that had felt so darned good to him.

"Akatsuki? You kissed me - why?" Ruka finally spoke again after taking a deep and fortifying breath that brought Kain's warm, almost earthy scent to her. This time, she sounded curious. Genuinely so... as if she really wanted to know the reason behind his unexpected action. Kain swallowed hard. He was calming down now and he could think again. He knew it wasn't the time for honesty. It was too soon for that. So now was the time to see just how good an actor he could be. Gritting his teeth, he reached out a hand, prayed with all his heart that it was steady and chucked her gently under her chin.

"Just a belated thank you for keeping me from being too lonely during my childhood," he said as lightly as he could. It was a totally lame answer and one that would have brought the full force of Aido's derision down upon him if the blond noble ever heard it but to Kain, it was the best one he could come up with and he couldn't blame Ruka one bit for blinking at his words.

"Was that what the hug was for... or..." she gulped and forced herself to continue, "... the kiss?"

Time seemed to stand still and listen as Ruka gave voice to that one word. Kain had stopped breathing as well, his eyes locked onto hers.

_Tell her! Tell her how you feel, damnit! You've been a coward too long, for once in your life, man, tell her!_

But Kain couldn't. Perhaps it was because all this was too sudden. Perhaps it was because old habits died hard. Perhaps it was because he had carried that flame for her for so long. Perhaps he was just plain and simply afraid. But he couldn't say those words out loud. Not now. It was just... too soon.

"Both," he replied simply and Ruka blinked again.

"Oh," she murmured but she was still staring at him. Like it or not, that had been her first kiss and she didn't know how to react to it. This wasn't at all how she had dreamt it would be and Akatsuki Kain wasn't at all the person she had dreamt it would be with. The simple fact that he hadn't apologised to her meant it couldn't have been too wrong since he was always the perfect gentleman but on the other hand, best friends certainly did not go around kissing their female friends in such a determined and straightforward manner.

Ruka was confusing herself and she knew it. She almost groaned with frustration at the thoughts going round and round inside her head.

_Oh, grow_ up _already, girl! It was just a simple kiss..._

But it wasn't. It was her first real kiss and she just couldn't put it aside that easily.

"Ruka," Kain was starting to look decidedly uneasy now as something else occurred to him very, very belatedly. "Was that your first kiss?"

Ruka opened her mouth, closed it and gulped again. The pink flush spreading in her cheeks and the somewhat miserable nod she gave confirmed that fact more eloquently than a simple 'yes' could ever have.

_Oh, crap!_

Kain squeezed his eyes shut and groaned out yet another curse. He should have known! How could he have forgotten something this important for Ruka? He who always put her thoughts, her feelings and her comfort first and foremost? Yes, it was his first kiss as well but he had no regrets – he had given it to the girl he loved but he had stolen Ruka's first one and completely without her permission. She couldn't have wanted to give it to him. Not when... No, not in a million years.

"I'm sorry," Kain murmured. He still had no intention of apologising for kissing her but this was different. He was suddenly stricken with guilt and he looked it. With just a brief hesitation, he stepped forward and hugged Ruka again. This time though, it was with the sole intention of comforting her. Ruka Souen was a vampire noble and much, much stronger than she looked but Kain was always conscious of his greater strength compared to hers and his arms were gentle, warm and completely unthreatening.

"I'm so sorry, little Ruka. That was very thoughtless of me," he apologised huskily. He could feel her trembling in his arms and his heart squeezed painfully hard inside his chest. He knew he had surprised her and even shocked her with his actions but had he perhaps frightened her? Dear God, that was the very last thing Kain intended and he almost wished that he could take back the kiss. Almost.

Miraculously, Ruka didn't pull away and Kain went weak with relief when he felt her arms encircle his waist hesitantly. With a soft sigh, he buried his face in her hair again, pressing his lips against the silky strands. His heart was slowing down at last and Ruka seemed content to remain where she was - Kain would have happily spent yet another eternity in this embrace. After a long moment, she stirred and Kain raised his head reluctantly. Ruka looked up a second later and met his warm, concerned gaze. She didn't know why but she wasn't angry at him. Yes, she was still a little confused and self conscious about that unexpected kiss but she wasn't angry. How could she be? Kain had stopped that kiss before she did and his apology was without doubt, the most sincere thing she had heard from him.

"I... uhm, was that your first kiss too?" she asked, the words coming out more shyly than she had intended. But it didn't really matter because she knew Kain would never take advantage of her, no matter what.

"Yes," he answered at once, accenting his answer with a nod. He saw no reason to hide this fact from her.

"Oh..." A thoughtful look crossed Ruka's face and Kain winced as that made him think of something else.

"Why, was it - uh... was it bad?" he couldn't help asking. He waited on tenterhooks for her reply and lost several years of his life in the process but Ruka shook her head.

"I don't think so. There wasn't anything wrong with it," she answered thoughtfully. Kain was still staring at her and Ruka hastened to elaborate.

"It's OK, Akatsuki. Really. It's just that all this while I wanted – I guess I'm just silly for wanting it to be  _special_... meaningful, that's all – oh!"

Ruka only realised her mistake when Kain turned pale. He actually blanched at her words but by the time her eyes had widened in horror, he had turned away, hands shoved deep into his jeans pockets. Ruka clapped one hand to her mouth but of course it was far too late.

_Stupid, thoughtless thing to say...!_

"Akatsuki, I'm sorry! I didn't mean that and it was special! I mean -"

"Give it up, Ruka," Kain's voice sounded strangely hopeless and weary at the same time. When he turned back to her, his features had reverted to their usual remote look. "It's OK, you have nothing to apologise for."

Ruka's eyes were soft and filled with apology but for once, Kain managed not to melt at the sight. Perhaps his heart was hurting too much.

"I think it's time we went back," he said, still in that soft but remote tone. Ruka hesitated before she nodded. They started walking back in an uncomfortable silence that was so different from the earlier one and Ruka's mind was spinning. So she had just had her first kiss. So it wasn't with the person she had dreamt of for years. So it wasn't all fireworks and explosions and feeling the earth move. But it had caught her by surprise and she hadn't time to prepare for... for anything!

Ruka darted an uneasy glance at the tall, brooding noble at her side. She felt unforgivably like blushing again. She was right when she said it hadn't been at all bad. But she was wrong when she implied that it hadn't been special. It was, in a way. Kain's kiss was brief and sudden and hard but it was also breathtakingly honest, warm and so... so  _him_. It gave her a glimpse into the person Akatsuki Kain was behind that tall figure and that handsome face with its detached expression. For one thing, he could be passionate... and Ruka found herself blushing again without knowing why.

But the one thing she did know was that she never wanted to hurt this very special person beside her. He was the one who had always cared for her and looked out for her for as long as they had known each other. He was the one even her over protective brothers gave their stamp of approval to. A determined look entered Ruka's eyes and she stopped walking abruptly.

"Akatsuki, wait. Please."

Kain stopped obediently but his shoulders were still hunched and he continued staring straight ahead. Ruka got the feeling he was... embarrassed somehow. Impulsively, she reached for his right hand. Kain started at the feel of slender cool fingers entwining around his and this time, he darted her a look that was almost frightened. Ruka couldn't help marveling over the fact that such a simple thing like her holding his hand had melted that remote look and she tucked away that fact into her mind. Who knows, it could be useful one day.

"I'm sorry I said that it wasn't special, Akatsuki," she said softly, her voice earnest. "It was, you know."

Kain sighed and rubbed at the back of his neck with his left hand. "Don't, Ruka. You don't have to try to make me feel better."

Ruka smiled tentatively. "Perhaps I am... but I also mean it. That kiss  _was_  special. It was so... you." Heavens, was she blushing  _again?_

Kain blinked. "So me?" he repeated, too surprised to do anything more than just echo her words verbatim. Ruka nodded and gave his fingers a squeeze. "It was warm and honest. Just like you," she confessed softly. Kain's tense shoulders relaxed as he stared at her, more relieved at her words than he cared to admit. They were a soothing and cooling balm his shattered ego badly needed at this stage. Kain raked the slightly trembling fingers of his left hand through his copper hair and gave a laugh that wasn't completely steady.

"Boy Ruka, you sure know how to make or break a man," he muttered. Ruka peeped at him but Kain's voice was wry and he certainly looked like his usual self again. That cool, remote mask had disappeared and that strange tension between them had vanished as well, bringing back the warm comfort of their long standing friendship. Ruka couldn't help smiling in sheer relief.

"So... are you going to surprise Hanabusa with a surprise hug and kiss too?" she teased and Kain laughed again, still marveling at how breathtakingly wonderful the world was right now.

"I think it should be the other way around," he quipped and then hastily added, "not that I would ever want him to."

Ruka laughed as well. Inside, she was still a little shaky and surprised at that kiss. She wanted to dwell on it but at the same time, she didn't want to bring it up. She wanted to tell Kain never to do that again since they were only friends but she knew she didn't need to when he had sounded so contrite earlier. With all those thoughts jumbling up her mind, Ruka kept quiet and pretended she didn't notice that their fingers were still entwined. Kain was quiet as well and Ruka didn't see the searching, slightly hopeful glances he sent her way as they made their way back to their hotel.

\- Chapter End -


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